No news is good news right?
Well, kindof.
The good news is that I haven't gained any weight. The good news is that I can wear jeans one size smaller than I normally would. And comfortably.
The bad news is that I'm rapidly seeing my old habits slipping back. Tired, hungry, stressed, bored, trying to buy time? The answer is food. And bad for me food too. Like McDonalds breakfast or super sweet and fake cups of mochas. And peanut butter muffins. And candy. And really whatever I'm in the mood for. Eating to fit my moods was a real bad habit of mine. The bad news is that I quit shakeology. I honestly was tired of the $120 a month commitment for something I could barely choke down. I really really was going to try it again but then finances got tight and $120 a month was just too much. Even for promised results. Luckily, (the good news) I'm supposed to be getting a refund on one bag and a second is currently selling on eBay for $90 which will feed my eBay addiction.
I promise myself I will continue to work on my habits. And maybe work on weight loss. The habits will be a good start at least.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Friday, March 4, 2016
Rewards and Regret
I believe in rewarding yourself. I believe your rewards should be more than a WHOLE bell pepper or having to choose between a tiny glass of wine and a spoonful of peanut butter
But my rewarding was getting out of hand.
I don't need to get fast food, a soda, a candy bar, hot chocolate or Wisconsin cheddar bites just because I went grocery shopping or got gas or actually worked.
I'm not a dog. Why am I using food as a reward. Essentially too a reward for being an adult. (Okay, sometimes being an adult deserves a reward!)
Here's the thing about my reward system.
1) it's not a system and 2) if I was rewarding myself with anything but food, I'd instantly regret it. If instead of a milkshake, I bought a magazine, I just wouldn't do it. I can look at things and say, I don't need that. I can prevent myself from buying an item, no matter how cheap or possibly helpful because it costs money. The same amount of money on food? No big deal. I'll buy that.
Even if I saved the money, put it away in a jar where I could see a visual representation of my reward (for both not eating something bad for me and for something big I could buy for myself or the house), I still wouldn't do it. I still would unlikely get the same satisfaction, even if fleeting, that I do from food. So I guess that's my new goal. Put aside money or even buy stuff I don't need (because seeing it accumulate even for a short period will be a good visual representation of what I'm spending/doing with food), instead of buying myself a treat.
Now if you excuse me, the bagel place with lox bagels just opened.
But my rewarding was getting out of hand.
I don't need to get fast food, a soda, a candy bar, hot chocolate or Wisconsin cheddar bites just because I went grocery shopping or got gas or actually worked.
I'm not a dog. Why am I using food as a reward. Essentially too a reward for being an adult. (Okay, sometimes being an adult deserves a reward!)
Here's the thing about my reward system.
1) it's not a system and 2) if I was rewarding myself with anything but food, I'd instantly regret it. If instead of a milkshake, I bought a magazine, I just wouldn't do it. I can look at things and say, I don't need that. I can prevent myself from buying an item, no matter how cheap or possibly helpful because it costs money. The same amount of money on food? No big deal. I'll buy that.
Even if I saved the money, put it away in a jar where I could see a visual representation of my reward (for both not eating something bad for me and for something big I could buy for myself or the house), I still wouldn't do it. I still would unlikely get the same satisfaction, even if fleeting, that I do from food. So I guess that's my new goal. Put aside money or even buy stuff I don't need (because seeing it accumulate even for a short period will be a good visual representation of what I'm spending/doing with food), instead of buying myself a treat.
Now if you excuse me, the bagel place with lox bagels just opened.
Bad Leslie
So like two weeks ago, I had a really bad week. It started fairly innocently enough. I bought a Subway sandwich. But the Subway was only an opening into the rest of the week.
I had a bunch of hard cases. That made me sad.
I was busy. That made me hungry.
So I made up excuses and didn't work on my diet. Or exercise but we know that wasn't going to happen anyway.
While I shouldn't make up excuses, there are three things I can say about the past two weeks of 'free eating':
1) my snacking habits have changed. I'm not snacking on veggies; I'm just not snacking as much. Especially at work (where there hardly ever is any food anyway).
2) I'm still below my initial goal weight and can still tighten my belt an extra notch. I'm not sure where the weight left. Maybe my face?
3) I will try again. Probably later this month.
I had a bunch of hard cases. That made me sad.
I was busy. That made me hungry.
So I made up excuses and didn't work on my diet. Or exercise but we know that wasn't going to happen anyway.
While I shouldn't make up excuses, there are three things I can say about the past two weeks of 'free eating':
1) my snacking habits have changed. I'm not snacking on veggies; I'm just not snacking as much. Especially at work (where there hardly ever is any food anyway).
2) I'm still below my initial goal weight and can still tighten my belt an extra notch. I'm not sure where the weight left. Maybe my face?
3) I will try again. Probably later this month.
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