Motivational Lack

There are two things that should really motivate me to continue with this diet and actually try but they aren't.

I've lost 15 pounds. Half of what I wanted (or that the doctors wanted) me to lose. I've surpassed my first goal.
And I haven't done all that much. I've significantly reduced my soda, junk food (though I'd love some Doritos right now), and fast food intake. I've tried to eat better at home.
The motivational point from this should be that if I just worked a little harder, if I just actually worked out and if I actually just measured my food as I'm supposed to, I could lose the rest of the weight that I am supposed to. It should come right off. Maybe it takes a month or two but it would right?
But it's not motivating me. Maybe it's because I think the doctors are wrong. Maybe it's because I don't think that at 30 pounds lighter I'm going to magically ovulate and magically conceive. So it seems to me, 'why bother?'

The other thing that should motivate me is the simple fact that I want to have a baby. I want kids. Dieting and weight loss will lead to conceiving a baby.
But no matter how much I want a baby, I can't motivate myself to diet.
Am I mentally deficient? Is there something that I'm doing wrong? How of I motivate myself to actually diet? I don't need 'you can do anything!' motivation but something more. I was going to say that maybe I needed some help. Someone to diet with.
Joe is not that person.
Joe's philosophy on 21 Day Fix is to see how many of his containers he can eat. Especially all mixed into his Shakeologu. My philosophy is the opposite. I want to eat as few as possible. (To the point of self destruction. Luckily, the cheesecake is gone.)

I need to find some motivation. If only it was that easy.

Six Things I Want to Eat

1) cheese bites from Sheetz
2) cookies
3) hot dogs
4) French fries
5) cake preferably with cream cheese frosting
6) peanut butter cup hot chocolate