Five Posts

No witty title today.

Today, getting out of the shower, I weighed myself and I have hit my first weight loss goal!. I've lost 15# since the beginning of the year! (15 pounds wasn't the goal; the goal was to crack a certain weight.) In celebration, I notched my belt one notch tighter!

Also, in celebration, I'm going to completely be self destructive this weekend as usual.

My husband is back from his work trip and wants to try this portion control thing too. So maybe tomorrow we try to do some meal planning and preparation.

Next weekend is going to be another challenge. I'm on call and when I'm on call, I reward myself by eating whatever I want. Also, since I'm out on the road most of the day, I end up getting a lot of fast food and gas station junk. So we'll see how next weekend goes.

Shakeology-best done with two tsp almond butter and a banana. The goats like bananas more than I do.

Four Reds

I don't like shakeology.

Maybe I should have gotten chocolate.

This is strawberry with Greek yogurt, banana and pineapple.

I also don't like fruit.

Three Times Seven is 21 Day Fix

I wasn't trying to number these posts but moving on to the third, its looking pretty clever.

I'm planning on losing my 30 pounds by doing 21 Day Fix/BeachBody/Shakeology.

I hate dieting.

I hate exercise.

I love sugar and being lazy.

I ordered the 21 Day Fix stuff in September. The box floated around my kitchen for months before I just opened it a few weeks ago.

It took some major badgering from a vet school classmate and some major crying after talking to my husband to realize that I really needed to do this. Loosing 30 pounds was my only option. I don't have the $2600+ that would be needed for fertility treatments. (Actually, that's the cost for one fertility treatment. It's not covered by insurance.)

Weight loss isn't going to be easy. I need to actually stick to the program. No cheating.

The past few weeks haven't been easy.

So tomorrow, I'm really doing it. Joe's going to be out of town which will make it easier since I'm only feeding myself. And I don't have to worry about him making fun of me exercising.

Tomorrow, meal planning and grocery store. (And TSC and Home Depot.)

I know that there will be days I cheat. Days that work is rough enough to require a Coke to get me through or when I decide that the calving/DA/lameness exam was close enough to exercise and skip it. And that's okay. As long as the good days out weight the bad.

That being said, by some random stroke of luck, I've lost almost 10 pounds since the beginning of the year. I'm not sure how but its true!

Two Bad Words

Complacency and acceptance are probably the two worst words when you have to go backwards and disregard them for the sake of dieting.

We're told over and over again to love ourselves for ourselves. While all that's fine and good, sometimes, we're put in a place where accepting ourselves for what we are is not possible.

I'm at that point.

It all really boils down to pants.

This is what happens.

You don't really notice that you are gaining weight. (Or at least I didn't.) But then one day, you need new pants. So you go to your favorite store and pick out some pants. Now you know that the pants you are currently wearing fit well. They are comfortable and look good (or so you think). So you start there.

Maybe you take them home or maybe you try them on. And despite being the same type and size of pants you wear all the time, they don't fit. What do you mean they don't fit?!?!?

So you move up a size. No big deal. The old ones were worn and stretched and that's why you needed to move up a size. OR maybe the company changed their sizing. That happens all the time right?

So you accept that you are now a new size. A new, bigger size. Its all good.

But it snowballs. And its not one pants size, its two or three.

You don't even see yourself as the person wearing the size of pants that you are. You're still the person that was wearing the pants two or three sizes ago. That's the acceptance again. Or maybe complacency.

But that's where I'm at. Needing new pants.

Hopefully, I can hold out on the ones I have and instead of trading up, I can trade down. Fingers crossed.

Post One

Well, I've started a new blog.

This one is focusing on a new part of my journey.

This one doesn't focus on my life with my husband, Joe. Nor does it focus on my career as a veterinarian.

So let's explore the name of this blog...Gaining Baby Weight.

This blog will explore my journey doing two things-1) getting pregnant (and eventually the journey of pregnancy and motherhood) and 2) losing weight so that I can actually get pregnant.

That's right. In order to get pregnant, I need to lose weight. Its such a bizarre concept really.

In June 2014, after months of not having regular periods and trying to get my cycles started, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is an endocrine/metabolic disease. Essentially, there are multiple cysts on my ovaries that don't ovulate. Additionally, there is an overabundance of other hormones which play havoc with other hormones. Often, weight gain, acne and abnormal hair growth are symptoms. You can have heart disease and become insulin resistant. PCOS is the leading cause of infertility in American women.

PCOS is why I'm infertile.

So, after my nurse practitioner bounced me to an OB/GYN in her office, who bounced me to a reproductive endocrinologist, who I eventually would stop go going to and go to another one instead, I am here. I've had three transvaginal ultrasounds (glamorous), countless vials of blood taken and three trips to Pittsburgh.  I am here and was told that I didn't have any medical reason for not ovulating. I wasn't insulin resistant. I have open Fallopian tubes.

So I was told to loose weight. Specifically, to loose 30 pounds.

And now, I work on loosing 30 pounds so that I can get pregnant. If only it was as simple as typing that sentence. This is my journey...primarily to loose 30 pounds.